Christmas Gifts From Baby

Each Christmas I provide suggestions for gifts from you and baby for your relatives and close friends.  Having a new baby can make it difficult to even and sit down and think of things you could do.  So I send out some rather sentimental and definitely time sensitive  ideas.  These gifts require preparation, you should be ordering and preparing them this month, NOVEMBER, in order to have them ready to send for your celebration.  Preparing them now will free up time for your holiday.

 

Personalized Gold Plated Bell Ornaments

Engraved Silver, Gold, or Rose Colored Bells with baby’s name and birth year

$11.99
Add 2 Bell Ornaments to Cart, Get $2 Off each!

 

 

Photo Ornaments:

Purchasable online or at most stores selling ornaments.  Put a photo of baby’s first Christmas in, be sure to put the date in the photo.  A lifetime keepsake of baby as a baby!

 

SHUTTERFLY

https://www.shutterfly.com

Photo Books, framed. photos, pillows with photos, on more.  SHUTTERFLY makes it incredibly easy to arrange photos of baby in many gifts your family and friends will love. I encourage you to check it out.  Right now they have most items on sale at 40 – 50% off!!! Create and order them now.  They arrive at you home in days and you give them as gifts!!  So much fun.  Another precious reminder of baby’s first holiday season.

 

Hand or foot modeled patterns of baby this year:

Pearhead Babyprints Ornament By White

$9.99 nearby·In stock

bedbathandbeyond.com

Available online

 

These are just a few ideas you may enjoy.  There are tons more.  Please forward your favorites so we can share them.

Have a ball preparing and repeating each year.  I so wish I had done this when my kids were small.  I was just so overwhelmed!  If you have someone in your life who would be willing to help you, a sister, grandma, dear friend, ask them to take care of preparations for you while you are simply too busy mothering.  You can take over later, their help could make it possible for you to begin now.

 

JUDY

 

 

 

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Helping Your Little Ones Adjust to the Time Change

As we “Fall Back” for the time change there are many thoughts to consider.  As adults we realize we loose an hour of sleep in the morning.  We take what ever steps necessary to adjust.  Maybe we make an effort to go to sleep earlier for a few nights.  We are, at least, mindful that change is in the air.  With babies not so much.  Our kids are not aware of the change.  Their internal clocks are set.  For most of them it will be dark at 5:00 when they wake.  It has been dark until 7:00 for a while, so they won’t even notice.  How can you constructively help your baby adjust?

Below find an article I think will help.  Let me know how you like it!!

JUDY

 

Helping Your Baby Adjust to the Time Change

Doulas of Orange County

Remember the pre-parenting days when the days would get shorter, the nights crisper and the urge to get cozy would hit? When we didn’t spare a second thought about the end of daylight savings time except that we’d get an extra hour of sleep?! Those were the days!

Then your baby arrived and you started obsessing about sleep. If you’re like most new parents, you aren’t getting enough sleep, so the end of daylight savings time may be daunting. Why? Because your baby can’t tell time and doesn’t know that 6am is now actually 5am. All your baby knows is that she got the sleep she normally gets and is wide-eyed ready to take on the day! If you’re a seasoned parent you know that this can easily disrupt naps and bedtimes for days or even weeks to come as you struggle to get adjusted to the time change.

SLOW & STEADY

If you’ve ever traveled to another time zone, you know how jarring the time change can be. Your brain knows that it’s not “time for bed”, but your internal clock is screaming for you to go to sleep! The end of daylight savings time can have the same affect. To ease the time leap, gradually adjust your baby’s sleep over the course of a week which eliminates the abruptness and helps him get used to the changes.

About 4-5 days before daylight savings ends start your bedtime routine 10 min later each day. If you normally start bath time at 6pm, start at 6:10. Once the time comes to turn back the clock, your baby will have adjusted to the routine being one hour later than usual, so that when she wakes up on Sunday morning she’ll be on track with the new time.

Every baby adjusts differently and some babies are more adaptable than others. If your baby is not as sensitive to schedule changes, different nap times or bedtimes, then you can probably shift things in 2-3 days by pushing everything back by 15-30mins each day. The concept is the same with just less time needed to adjust to the hour time change.

KEEP IT DARK

Black-out shades are one of those sleep tools that we swear by. If you don’t already have black-out shades in your baby’s room – GET THEM. Just like adults, your baby has a circadian rhythm or internal clock that responds to light and dark. Babies don’t fully develop this until 3-4 months of age, but it’s never too early to utilize the shades. A dark room assists in melatonin production (the “sleep” hormone) helping communicate to your baby’s body that it should stay asleep a little longer. These can be utilized for naps as well as bedtime.

STAY CONSISTENT

Babies LOVE consistency and routine. Trust us on this. So, other than adjusting the nighttime time gradually, do your best to keep everything else the same. The same bedtime routine, the same timing between naps, etc. This will help reduce any confusion and keep your baby none the wiser!

BE PATIENT & FIX IT LATER

If your schedule as a family isn’t super structured and you don’t have a regular bed time, that’s ok. The time change may not affect you too much. But if it does, it’s important to be patient. If you find yourself reacting instead of avoiding, don’t stress. It may take anywhere from 1 to 3 weeks for your baby to adjust to the time change and for things to get back on track. Make sure your baby’s last nap isn’t ending too late into the afternoon and try implementing some calming activities before bedtime to prep body and mind for falling asleep at a new bedtime. Know that within time your baby’s internal clock will adjust to this new change and things will go back to normal.

GET SUPPORT

If things have completely gone of the rails it can never hurt to reach out for help from a sleep expert.

 

 

 

The Controversy Over the MMR Vaccine

My educational background is counseling.  I took statistics at UCI, learning that anyone can massage statistics to say what they want.  Later, the uproar about the MMR causing autism came to light.  Tens of thousands of parents in the US refused to have their children inoculated against Mumps, Measles, and Rubella (German Measles).  Those fatal and destructive diseases had been literally irradiated in the US through the MMR inoculation given to infants (around a year).  Due to the refusal of inoculations children began dieing.  Any medical professional would recommend the inoculation because the possibility of severe damage and death from the diseases far outweighs the possibility of autism from it.
I agreed, and, of course, inoculated my fire children with no reaction.  I researched the root of this information.  The attached article explains clearly that the original research on MMR vs autism was done in England.
As explained in the attached info, the research included 12 children already predisposed to autism.  Yes, only 12 children.  As far as I am concerned that is entirely worthless.  How could anyone consider a study including only 12 subjects definitive research?   What happened is: lazy authors and researchers looking to prove their point referenced this study/experiment w/o even reading it.  It was referenced to the point where it became the founding research for not inoculating children… totally ridiculous!!!!  Thousands of children worldwide died, went deaf, or were permanently crippled because of it.  The medical community never supported the research against the vaccine, yet, through the internet, it became Gospel.
What you choose to do regarding inoculations for your children is up to you.  I encourage you to research the information.  Talk with your pediatrician and OB.  Question friends and relatives.  This can be a life or death decision for your kids.

 

Lancet retracts 12-year-old article linking autism to MMR vaccines

Laura Eggertson

Author information Copyright and License information Disclaimer

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2831678/

 

This article has been cited by other articles in PMC.

Twelve years after publishing a landmark study that turned tens of thousands of parents around the world against the measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine because of an implied link between vaccinations and autism, The Lancet has retracted the paper.

In a statement published on Feb. 2, the British medical journal said that it is now clear that “several elements” of a 1998 paper it published by Dr. Andrew Wakefield and his colleagues (Lancet1998;351[9103]:637–41) “are incorrect, contrary to the findings of an earlier investigation.”

Dr. Richard Horton, editor of The Lancet, declined through a spokesperson to speak to CMAJ about this issue.

In the original paper, Wakefield and 12 coauthors claimed to have investigated “a consecutive series” of 12 children referred to the Royal Free Hospital and School of Medicine with chronic enterocolitis and regressive developmental disorder. The authors reported that the parents of eight of the 12 children associated their loss of acquired skills, including language, with the MMR vaccination. The authors concluded that “possible environmental triggers” (i.e. the vaccine) were associated with the onset of both the gastrointestinal disease and developmental regression.

In fact, as Britain’s General Medical Council ruled in January, the children that Wakefield studied were carefully selected and some of Wakefield’s research was funded by lawyers acting for parents who were involved in lawsuits against vaccine manufacturers. The council found Wake-field had acted unethically and had shown “callous disregard” for the children in his study, upon whom invasive tests were performed.

When the original article was picked up by the general media, the findings were fuelled by speeches and public appearances in which Wakefield recommended single vaccines rather than the combined MMR. Many parents seeking a cause for their children’s illness seized upon the apparent link between the routine vaccination and autism, say Canadian researchers who laud the retraction.

Dr. Andrew Wakefield speaks to media in London, England on Jan. 28 after the General Medical Council ruled that he acted unethically in doing his research into a link between Measles Mumps Rubella vaccinations and autism.

“I think a lot of families were looking for a reason, so they were extremely vulnerable (to this explanation),” says Jeanette Holden, a geneticist at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. Holden, whose brother is autistic, heads the Autism Spectrum Disorders —Canadian–American Research Consortium.

“The problem is that this had dramatic health consequences, which was that people just didn’t vaccinate their children,” she adds.

In the United Kingdom, the Health Protection Agency attributed a large measles outbreak in 2008 and 2009 to a concurrent drop in the number of children receiving the MMR vaccine. Pockets of measles — which can be fatal —have also cropped up in Canada and the United States as a result of parents’ refusal to vaccinate.

“In the course of my discussions with families it’s almost invariable that the measles question comes into play,” says Dr. Suzanne Lewis, a pediatrician and clinical professor of medical genetics at the University of British Columbia in Vancouver.

“I was quite thankful to see the retraction — it’s long overdue,” she adds.

Both Holden and Lewis, who is also a member of the Autism Spectrum Disorders — Canadian–American Research Consortium, questioned the article’s original heft, given its small sample size.

“Why The Lancet published it is completely beyond me,” Lewis says. “The risk-versus-benefit equation was really tipped the wrong way by this research that was so egregious.”

She also decried the “millions, if not tens of millions of dollars” that have been spent on additional studies to validate or disqualify the original Wakefield study.

The Lancet first investigated the paper in 2004, after allegations of misconduct by Wakefield and the other authors came to its attention. But after an investigation, the Royal Free and University College Medical School and The Royal Free Hampstead NHS Trust published a statement in the journal saying that they were “entirely satisfied” that the children in the Wakefield study “had been subjected to appropriate and rigorous ethical scrutiny” (Lancet 2004. DOI:10.1016/S0140-6736(04)15711-5).

At that time, The Lancet said its editors found no evidence that the authors intended to deceive them, including about the way the children were selected. However, the editors expressed regret that “aspects of funding for parallel and related work and the existence of ongoing litigation … were not disclosed to editors.” But the journal did not withdraw the paper, citing the “public interest in the issue.”

Despite the retraction, many autism advocacy groups and parents continue to defend Wakefield, as they are making clear on blogs such as the Age of Autism, in electronic comments responding to articles about the retraction, and on the website of Generation Rescue, a group founded by actors Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey.

The “conspiracy theory” that vaccine manufacturers are hiding the truth about MMR and autism is fuelled by parents’ need to know what is causing autism, says Margaret Spoelstra, executive director of Autism Ontario, despite the fact that no large study has replicated Wakefield’s findings.

“We know that autism has a genetic cause and that there are environmental factors that we don’t understand yet,” Spoelstra says. “There’s enormous pressure in the field to come up with those answers.”

Articles from CMAJ : Canadian Medical Association Journal are provided here courtesy of Canadian Medical Association

 

link to article:  https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2831678/

 

The Holidays Are On Their Way….?

When we talk about the holidays many shutter.  There are expectations, traditions, places and events you are expected to attend.  How do you manage all that with your new little person?  How do you make everyone happy?  How do you maintain your sanity?

The place to start is in your own home.  Talk with your mate about what you want to do.  Listen to what is the most important to him.  Come to an agreement on what means the most to the two of you.  Then spread out to the other expectations looming out there.

Understand that most likely everyone will not get exactly what they want.  That is OK.  Some times a holiday will need to be celebrated on a day other than the holiday itself to accommodate all needs.  I have a dear friend who arranges a catered brunch for her extended family at Christmas each year.  Sometimes it takes place on Christmas morning.  Other times it is the day before or later in the week.  No one is bothered by the fact that they can not always be together on the exact holiday.  They enjoy the time together, the great food, and the Gift Box Game….more later.  Know these same ideas apply to Hanukkah, Quanza, or what ever your holiday of choice may be

With a little planning and consideration you can come to an arrangement that pleases most.  For those who are not able to go with the flow, make an effort to spend individual time with them at another opportunity.  Maybe your effort to meet their needs will soften the blow.

Most often the arrival of your first child brings changes in the ways holidays are spent.  Prior to this it is just the two of you.  You could pick up and go easily, even travel if need be.  Where as the arrival of a baby complicates the matter.  If you think ahead, consider your own needs first together, then offer your suggestions to others you will not be torn, as much.  Of course you want to make everyone happy.  Over the year this hopefully will happen.  Maybe Thanksgiving is spent with one family group while Christmas or Hanukkah with the other.  And the holiday can be reversed the following year.  Either way, your own family comes first.  Creating a peaceful holiday tradition for the future will smooth over complications and misunderstandings.

THE GIFT BOX GAME:  My friend, Carol, developed this game as her kids grew into adulthood.  She decorates beautiful boxes each year, putting cash in them.  The cash is the money she would have spent on gifts if purchasing them.  It varies each year.  The clincher is that one box has the bulk of the budget, maybe $200!  The remaining boxes have anything from $1 to $50.  They play a game to see who gets to choose the first box from the pile. (You can create you own game).   With out opening any boxes each of the boxes is selected.  If you want to choose a box someone else had you may, one time.  Otherwise you select a box from the pile.  After all the boxes have been removed from the pile each player opens his box.  Their family goes crazy realizing the first box they had was the BIG ONE!  Ha!  Ha!    Be sure to take lots of photos.  It can get crazy!!!

Disclaimer:  Ha!  Clearly this is a game for adults, or mature teens.  Little ones receive individual gifts from Grama and Grampa or you!!

Enjoy!!!  JUDY

Borrowing Trouble

As a mother of five I have had the joy, opportunity, and frustration of experiencing nearly every example of baby growth.  My kids are happy, healthy, active individuals, even in their adulthood!!!

Something I adhered to from the early years was not borrowing trouble.  This means do not look ahead for problems.  Live life expecting the best and you will probably find it.

I decided when my eldest was 18 months old that I was not going to expect The Terrible Twos.  This meant I needed to think about what might cause it.  The general consensus is that two year olds experience major frustration in communication.  They come in to you and tell you what they are thinking.  They do not have words yet, but they don’t know that.  They tell you what they need or how they feel and you have no idea what they are trying to say.  FRUSTRATION!!!!!

Thus, I purposed to take the time with him to let him know that even if I did not understand what he was saying I really wanted to.  I would sit with him, read books, get right down at his eye level and talk with him.  Even though I could not understand his “words” he knew I was truly interested in him.  THE TERRIBLE TWO’S NEVER HAPPENED!

This theory worked will all five kids!!!  There were very few all out tantrums.  My kids did not speak until they were nearly three, very late.  But they were deeply connected to each other and to me.  They knew they were loved.   We laughed and cuddled and played.

This same theory applies to the four month sleep regression.  If you plan on sleep regression you will find it.  Don’t look for trouble!  If your baby experiences sleep issues deal with them.  Many babies do not do so.

Later on I exercised the same theory with the adolescent rebellion so many experience.  Our kids had space to grow and live life.  They had tight relationships with each other and friends.  I did not plan on having horrible fights and acting out and did not!!!  We had four boys and no knock down drag out altercations!!!!!  None of them picked on their sister.  She did not bother them either.

So much of life with your kids is slowing down and listening.  If they know you are with them they are comforted and at peace.  This will cover a million problems!  Expect the best and you will enjoy it!!!

 

JUDY

More Help With Sleeping Issues

THINGS I DIDN’T KNOW ABOUT BABY SLEEP

http://WWW.HELLOBEE.COM/2012/01/12/THINGS-I-DIDNT-KNOW-ABOUT-BABY-SLEEP/

BY MRS. BEE

These are more ideas on helping your baby sleep.  I truly believe you can not learn enough about this.  Every baby is different…every parent is different.  The situations you find yourselves in will vary from family to family, culture to culture, and on and on.  Read, ask questions, talk to you friends with babies, your grandma, your mother and sisters.  Learn all you can, then make the best choices you are able.  These will change with time as your baby matures.  Have fun, if at all possible!  This time of sleeping issues will pass.  I promise!!!!

JUDY

 

As little as I knew about breastfeeding before having kids, I probably knew even less about infant sleep! Who knew it was so complicated and ever changing? Suffice it to say that sleep is the parenting topic with which I’ve been most obsessed. Even though Charlie is 2 years old now, I’m still obsessed!

Newborns
– Newborns have a startle or “moro” reflex that causes their arms to twitch the first         couple of months. Because of this reflex, newborns sleep better when swaddled.
– Newborns’ circadian rhythms are not fully developed so they often have their days                     and nights mixed up.
– Expose your newborn to light, sound, and play during the day, and dark, quiet and as     little stimulation as possible at night to help set their circadian rhythm.
– It takes newborns at least 20 minutes to enter a deep sleep, which is why they’re             asleep in your arms but wake up as soon as you put them in their crib.
– Ways to get your newborn to sleep include: rocking, patting, wearing, strolling,              nursing/bottle feeding, pacifier, swing, bouncer, car ride, playing loud white                   noise (vacuum, hair dryer), bouncing on an exercise ball.
– Colic doesn’t exist in some cultures where moms wear babies and breastfeed them                    nonstop throughout the entire day.
– Putting your baby in the crib drowsy but awake gives them opportunities to learn                      how to self soothe, put themselves to sleep, and not rely on an external sleep               prop to fall asleep.

Naps
– Babies are most tired before their first nap of the day so this is their shortest awake period.
– Set consistent nap routines so your baby knows it’s nap time.
– The length and quality of daytime naps affects night time sleep.
– Some babies 6 months and older do well on a 2-3-4 hour schedule. (Charlie definitely couldn’t stay awake that long.)
– Most babies drop their fourth nap by 5 months. (Charlie dropped his at 5 months.)
– Most babies drop their third nap by 9 months. (Charlie dropped his at 9 months.)
– Most toddlers drop their second nap by 18 months. (Charlie dropped his at 15 months.)
– Napping in a stroller or car seat is not as restorative as napping in a crib.
– Sometimes reducing daytime naps can increase night time sleep (if your baby is still getting enough sleep in a 24 hour period).
– Don’t let your baby nap too late or it may interfere with night time sleep.
– Babies have a 45 minute sleep cycle, which is why many wake up after 30-45 minutes into a nap.
– The 90 Minute Baby Sleep Program works great for some babies – Eat, play, and put your baby to sleep by 90 minutes of awake time.
– Babies under 6 months of age have a maximum awake period of 2 hours; for many babies 4-6 months it’s much less than 2 hours, and for babies under 4 monththe awake periods are even less.
– Put babies down for naps at the first signs of tiredness, or within a designated time frame like the 90 minute sleep program to prevent overtiredness.

Night Time Sleep
– Babies sleep better and longer when they go to bed earlier (before 8pm… even as early as 5:30pm).
– Children should wake up around the same time everyday to set their internal clock.
– A consistent bedtime routine like a bath + lotion + pjs lets your baby know that it’ bedtime.
– Many moms wake their babies up for a “dream feed” around 10-11pm to encourage their babies to sleep longer at night.
– By 6 months, most babies are physically capable of sleeping 10-12 hours straight at night.
– Sometimes babies that wake up for middle of the night feedings are doing so out of habit — they get hungry at that time because they’re used to eating at that time.
– Children have a strong shift in their sleep cycle around 4:30am, which is why so many of them wake up at this time.
– Early morning wake-ups are one of the most difficult sleep problems to solve.
– Make sure your baby gets enough calories in the daytime so they’re less likely to wake up for night time feedings.
– If wet diapers don’t bother your baby, don’t change them in the middle of the night as it will stimulate them.
– Even making eye contact with your baby at night can stimulate them.

General Sleep
– All babies are different. Different things work for different babies, and some are better sleepers than others.
– Consistency is key no matter what sleeping methods you use.
– Often fussiness, tantrums and sleep problems are related to being overtired and/or not getting enough sleep.

Once a baby is overtired, adrenaline kicks in and it’s much more difficult for them to                   fall asleep.
– Tired signs include yawning, getting quiet, staring off in space.
– Overtired signs include fussiness, eye rubbing, looking wired.
– Sleep props are when a baby relies on an external force – rocking, nursing, stroller –     to fall asleep.
– An eat, play, sleep schedule ensures that babies do not fall asleep nursing/taking a                      bottle.
– Developmental milestones such as rolling over, crawling, growth spurts etc. often affect sleep.
– Sleep begets sleep.
– White noise and black out shades often help lengthen naps and night time sleep.
– Give your baby a chance to fuss and settle down instead of picking them up as soon                   as they start making noise.
– Babies generally sleep better on their stomachs (but you shouldn’t put them to sleep                on their tummies… they will eventually roll over and do it on their own).
– Babies fall asleep better in a cooler room (less than 72 degrees).

Even having studied so much about baby sleep, it’s still a mystery to be solved for me. Olive has been sleeping better the past couple of nights, but when it comes to baby sleep, as soon as you think you have it figured out, it completely changes on you again.

 

 

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Check out this author…..  He is a board certified pediatrician who has developed many items to aid in sleep training your baby.    JUDY

https://www.happiestbaby.com/?gclid=CjwKCAjw54fdBRBbEiwAW28S9kTtRLVhmdpmBep4pJ7l80YSGP-6THAtPEq85DEfOTwFkBqQT1ZLSRoCa_4QAvD_BwE

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Harvey Karp MD, board certified pediatritian

(Helpful comments added by Judy Eastman)

The Five S’s of Newborn Care

 

The 1st S: Swaddle

Swaddling recreates the snug packaging inside the womb and is the cornerstone of calming. It decreases startling and increases sleep. And, wrapped babies respond faster to the other 4 S’s and stay soothed longer because their arms can’t wriggle around. To swaddle correctly,wrap arms snug—straight at the side—but let the hips be loose and flexed. Use a large square blanket, but don’t overheat, cover your baby’s head or allow unraveling. Note: Babies shouldn’t be swaddled all day, just during fussing and sleep.

I couldn’t agree more, babies feel secure and safe when swaddled.  The beautiful gauze and bamboo blankets available now are lovely, but useless when it comes to swaddling.  They do not provide enough friction to stay in place.  Use flannel receiving blankets for the best results.  There are also swaddles for purchase.  I prefer those with Velcro.  Baby will stay snuggled in until the next diaper change.

The 2nd S: Side or Stomach Position

The back is the only safe position for sleeping, but it’s the worst position for calming fussiness. This S can be activated by holding a baby on her side, on her stomach or over your shoulder. You’ll see your baby mellow in no time.

The 3rd S: Shush

Contrary to myth, babies don’t need total silence to sleep. In the womb, the sound of the blood flow is a shush louder than a vacuum cleaner! But, not all white noise is created equal. Hissy fans and ocean sounds often fail because they lack the womb’s rumbly quality. The best way to imitate these magic sounds is white noise. Happiest Baby’s CD / Mp3 has6 specially engineered sounds to calm crying and boost sleep.

I prefer soft classical music to the irritating white noise machines.  It is not only calming but educational.  Studies consistently show students studying or test taking with classical music in the background test higher.  Starting to educate baby now can only be a plus.

The 4th S: Swing

Life in the womb is very jiggly. (Imagine your baby bopping around inside your belly when you jaunt down the stairs!) While slow rocking is fine for keeping quiet babies calm, you need to use fast, tiny motions to soothe a crying infant mid-squawk. My patients call this movement the Jell-O head jiggle.” To do it, always support the head/neck, keep your motions small; and move no more than 1 inch back and forth. I really advise watching the DVD to make sure you get it right. (For the safety of your infant, never, ever shake your baby in anger or frustration.)

Motion is the time tested way to calm babies.  Swings, rides in the car, holding, rocking of the bassinet, a swinging cradle, walking with baby in a carrier all provide this care.  Be creative.  Also, this is a wonderful way for Daddy to participate in baby care.

The 5th S: Suck

Sucking is “the icing on the cake” of calming. Many fussy babies relax into a deep tranquility when they suck. Many babies calm easier with a pacifier.

Baby will take a pacifier if trained to do so.  It is a learning process.  In the beginning pacifiers pop out, do not give up!  At 2:00 AM you will be very grateful.  Any pacifier will do.  I prefer the newborn pacifiers by MEM.  They are light weight and easy to hold on to.

The 5 S’s Take PRACTICE to Perfect

The 5 S’s technique only works when done exactly right. The calming reflex is just like the knee reflex: Hit one inch too high or low, and you’ll get no response, but hit the knee exactly right and, presto! If your little one doesn’t soothe with the S’s, watch the Happiest Baby DVD / Streaming Video again to get it down pat. Or, check with your doctor to make sure illness isn’t preventing calming.

You can do it.  Having a doula to support and help will make it so much easier.  DO NOT GIVE UP!!!

How Do the 5 S’s Relate to Another Favorite S – Sleep?

The keys to good sleep are swaddling and white noise. In another “Aha!” moment, I realized technology could assist parents with their 4th-trimester duties. So Happiest Baby invented SNOO, an innovative baby bed based on the 5 S’s that helps calm babies and ease them into sleep. Parents especially love when it quickly calms babies for those 2 a.m. wakings!

 

 

 

More Sleep Training Tools

SNOO SLEEPER BASSINET 

(This is an ad for the SNOO Sleeper and other products offered through The Happiest Baby on the Block Company.  They believe their products are the only ones providing these services.  I believe their products are good and can offer help in sleep training.  I do not recommend their swaddles because they can not be wrapped closely enough to hold baby in place through out the night.)

https://www.happiestbaby.com/gclid=CjwKCAjw54fdBRBbEiwAW28S9kTtRLVhmdpmBep4pJ7l80YSGP-6THAtPEq85DEfOTwFkBqQT1ZLSRoCa_4QAvD_BwE

More edited info:  The SNOO Sleeper retails at about $1,600.  Due to the short time it is needed in your baby’s life, the cost is extreme.  It is possible to rent it through local infant stores and agencies.  If you need help with this contact me.

JUDY

 

Boosts your baby’s sleep

SNOO is the only bed that boosts sleep 1-2+ hours by soothing babies with the constant rumbly sound and gentle rocking they loved in the womb.

Calms your baby’s crying

SNOO “hears” your baby’s criesand automatically responds with 5 levels of gradually stronger white noise and motion to find the best level to soothe fussing.

Easy to Customize

Our app logs your baby’s sleep… automatically! And, it lets you adjust SNOO’s motion, sound and cry sensitivity to make it perfect for your baby. Includes a preemie/newborn mode and a weaning option to ease transition to the crib.

Keeps Your Baby Safer

Our 5-second swaddle prevents risky rolling…giving your baby all the benefits of swaddling, without any of the risks. And, it’s totally flat, which is important because doctors warn babies should never sleep seated in rockers or swings. SNOO is the only sleep solution that keeps your baby safely on the back—all naps/all night—as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Teaches Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night

SNOO’s rhythmic motion automatically reduces night waking and helps your baby learn to self-soothe and be a great sleeper. There’s no more need for babies to “cry it out.”

Created by Dr. Harvey Karp, author of  The Happiest Baby on the Block

 

 

 

 

 

The Wall Street Journal Ran an Article on Babies and Sleep Coaches!

JUDY                                                                                                                                                                    *                                                                                                                                                                 *

New parents will try just about anything to get a fussy baby to sleep, from rocking, nursing and singing, to popping them into an infant seat for a nighttime car ride.

Now, groggy moms and dads are trying a new tool: A sleep coach.

About one in five parents of 6-month-olds report problems getting their babies to sleep. Some are turning to a small but growing industry of sleep consultants for help. For fees ranging from about $300 for two weeks of consultations by phone and text to $7,500 for 72 hours of in-home coaching, these advisers help parents get babies to sleep on their own.

Parents say the coaches help cut through confusion about what sleep-training methods are best. After many sleep-deprived nights spent trying to soothe or sing her 5-month-old daughter Thira to sleep, Ashley Langer says, “I felt like a zombie.” She and her husband, Adam, had read several books on infant sleep, but “they all preached something different,” she says. Whatever soothing technique Ms. Langer tried, Thira kept waking up several times a night.

Ashley Langer of New Rochelle, N.Y., employed a sleep coach several months ago to help get her baby daughter Thira, shown in this recent photo at 9 months old, on a regular sleeping schedule.
Ashley Langer of New Rochelle, N.Y., employed a sleep coach several months ago to help get her baby daughter Thira, shown in this recent photo at 9 months old, on a regular sleeping schedule.PHOTO: BETTE LANGER

In desperation one night, Ms. Langer googled baby coaches, found a New York company called Mommywise and hired sleep coach Devon Clement to come to her New Rochelle, N.Y., home. After two days’ coaching, Ms. Clement helped Ms. Langer reschedule feedings and begin leaving Thira alone in her crib long enough to fall asleep on her own. Five months later, Thira is still sleeping through the night. Ms. Langer says some of her friends are jealous. “They think I’m lying,” she says.

New parents have slogged through sleepless nights for generations. But the landscape has gotten trickier.

Research on the benefits of breast-feeding has more mothers nursing their babies longer, on demand and through the night, to maintain their milk supply. The American Academy of Pediatrics’ 2016 advice that babies should sleep in the same room as their parents, in a separate bed, for 6 to 12 months, to guard against crib death, can make sleeping harder for all. Also, in an era when most parents need two incomes, the return to work often overlaps with babies’ sleep training.

All these factors combined to help make Danielle DiCerbo feel like a crazy person after 5½ months with her new baby, Luca. Since Luca’s birth, she and her husband, Mike Daddio, had rarely slept more than 2½ hours at a time in their two-bedroom Brooklyn, N.Y., apartment. But both had to return to work, Mr. Daddio as a builder and Ms. DiCerbo running her own consulting firm. “It was a complete nightmare,” Ms. DiCerbo says.

She acknowledges that sleep coaches can be expensive, and they aren’t for everyone. Even some family members were skeptical. “People were like, ‘That’s crazy, come on. Is there really a professional that can sleep-train a baby?’ ” But after she hired a coach who helped them get Luca sleeping through the night while continuing to breast-feed, she decided the outcome was worth the cost. “People pay for therapy,” she says. “What would you pay for your sanity?”

Katie and Brandon Hansen of Abilene, Texas, hired a sleep consultant several years ago when their twins Kenzie and Cash, center, shown at age 3 in this 2017 photo, were keeping them awake at night. Also shown are their siblings Maizie, left, and Henry, right.
Katie and Brandon Hansen of Abilene, Texas, hired a sleep consultant several years ago when their twins Kenzie and Cash, center, shown at age 3 in this 2017 photo, were keeping them awake at night. Also shown are their siblings Maizie, left, and Henry, right. PHOTO: COPPER AND PEARL

Elizabeth Murray, a spokeswoman for the American Academy of Pediatrics, says the sleep-coaching trend makes her a little sad. “It seems to me a sign of parents’ feeling that they can’t do this on their own, that somehow they’re failing and they need an expert for every little thing,” rather than working with their child’s doctor, says Dr. Murray, an assistant professor of clinical pediatrics at the University of Rochester in New York.

Some parents say crossfire on social media over the right way to do sleep training has undermined their confidence. Numerous books in recent years have promoted varied approaches, from cuddling the baby nonstop so he never cries, to putting him in his crib and ignoring his cries until morning.

Among the most popular is graduated extinction, or the check-and-console method. It involves putting the child to bed drowsy but awake and checking on him at progressively longer intervals until he falls asleep. Another method, bedtime fading, calls for temporarily delaying bedtime by about 15 minutes more each night, to help the baby fall asleep, then gradually moving it earlier.

A third method—dubbed the shuffle by author and sleep coach Kim West—is called camping out, or the shuffle. It entails sitting close to pat and comfort the baby until she falls asleep, then moving a little farther away every few days until she no longer needs your presence.

SLEEP-TRAINING TIPS FOR INFANTS

  • Start sleep-training when your baby is 4 to 6 months old.
  • Learn your child’s cues that she’s getting sleepy.
  • Try not to let your baby fall asleep in a stroller or car seat.
  • Set a soothing bedtime routine and stick to it.
  • Put your child in the crib awake but drowsy.
  • Be consistent in your behavior during bedtime and awakenings.
  • Keep the room dark and quiet (or provide white noise).
  • See your pediatrician to rule out medical causes of sleep problems.

New mother Katie Hansen turned to Facebookfor sleep-training advice. “I’d see people sharing articles about how you’re damaging your kids if you let them cry,” she says. After several months of rushing to comfort her baby twins every time one of them cried, she and her husband were desperate for sleep.

She turned to sleep consultant Lori Strong of Austin, Texas, who helped her set a bedtime routine and teach the twins to fall asleep on their own. “It’s really helpful to have somebody who’s an expert, but who also isn’t going to make you feel silly” for doubting yourself, says Ms. Hansen, of Abilene, Texas.

The most common mistake parents make is failing to pick one approach and stick to it. “The best method for any family is the one they can follow consistently,” says Becky Roosevelt, a Pleasanton, Calif., sleep consultant.

Sleep consultant Becky Roosevelt of Pleasanton, Calif., says the most common mistake parents make when sleep-training their babies is failing to pick a single approach and stick to it.
Sleep consultant Becky Roosevelt of Pleasanton, Calif., says the most common mistake parents make when sleep-training their babies is failing to pick a single approach and stick to it. PHOTO: LAURA PEDRICK

Long nights spent doing the pacifier dance—jumping up repeatedly to give their baby daughter Lily her pacifier—had Stephanie Diamond and her husband exhausted. “We were running ragged,” says Dr. Diamond, of Miami Shores, Fla. With help from sleep consultant Sasha Carr, a Norwalk, Conn., psychologist, they learned to use the check-and-console method, to help Lily fall asleep without rocking or using a pacifier.

Most parents rely on referrals to find a sleep coach. It’s important to weigh a consultant’s training. Mommywise coaches have experience as postpartum doulas and training in newborn care, says founder Natalie Nevares. Two organizations, the Family Sleep Institute and Ms. West’s Gentle Sleep Coach program, certify students who complete several months’ training plus supervised practice.

WORK & FAMILY MAILBOX

Q: Regarding your Aug. 22 story on more employers’ handing out promotions without a pay raise, what impact does that have on the likelihood that employees will quit to take another job?—S.W.

A: It depends on whether the employee interprets the offer as an appreciative gesture by a respectful boss whose hands are tied on compensation, or as a disrespectful ploy by a manipulative boss trying to get more work done for nothing.

A boss whose motives are suspect is likely to hit two hot buttons that drive employees to quit—dissatisfaction with one’s boss, and a lack of pay raises, according to a 2012 study of 560 employees by Deloitte. This is especially true of employees who have only been with the company for one to three years, a stage when workers are most liable to jump ship. In general, employees are far more likely to bail if they see their employer’s pay practices as political or arbitrary, according to another Deloitte survey from 2018.

If the employee sees the offer as recognition of her hard work and an opportunity to grow, it’s likely to have the opposite effect. Promotions are among the top five reasons employees stay with their current employers, the 2012 Deloitte study says. And employers that deliberately create growth opportunities and stretch assignments for employees have far better retention rates than those who don’t.

Q: Regarding your Aug. 14 column on long-distance marriages, most of the couples you mentioned have grown-up children, or no children at home. What happens when little children are involved?—N.K.

A: There’s little research on the impact of commuter marriages on children, but the challenges can be complicated. The spouse living full-time with the children often feels like a single parent, and may have to cut back his or her own time at work to meet increased family-care demands. Children may feel shortchanged, too. Such risks make corporate human-resource managers reluctant to pressure employees into transfers that split their families.

However, commuter setups can be better for children than relocating the whole family, which forces children to change schools and make new friends. Teens who have had to move often with their families tend to have more behavioral and emotional problems.

Commuter parents with children often adapt their routines to support them, traveling home more often than others. Many FaceTime with toddlers and use cellphones and texting to stay in touch with teenagers. Also, digital tools enable parents to monitor their children’s grades, coordinate schedules and pay for extracurricular activities from afar. Some commuter wives say delegating responsibility to teenage children helps them learn new skills, according to a 2007 study led by Karla Mason Bergen, an associate professor of communication at the College of Saint Mary in Omaha, Neb.

Parents’ attitudes can shape children’s response. Children whose parents communicate well with them and embrace commuter setups as a route to a better, more prosperous life for the family tend to get better grades and have fewer behavior problems in school, according to a 2015 study of 217 commuter families with teenagers.

Write to Sue Shellenbarger at sue.shellenbarger@wsj.com

Appeared in the August 29, 2018, print edition as ‘A Coach for Sleepless Babies.’

Early AM Waking

I am working with a client now whose baby consistently struggles after the early AM feeding.  This baby will sleep well through out the evening and night, wake for the early AM feeding, around 3:00 or 4:00 then struggle until morning.  In researching this phenomena I discovered it is a very common issue.  My concern is for the family with whom I am working.  Later this week I will have an evening off and they will have to deal with their little ones’ discomfort.

Previously I have worked with babies who have a regular gassy time early in the morning.  It is so sad, because the baby cries out and bends over in pain from gas.  There is little that can be done to alleviate the problem.  There are, of course, many products claiming to relieve gas in newborns.  However, my personal experience is they do not perform.  Often, it simply takes three months or so for newborn digestive systems to acclimate to life outside the womb.

Nearly all babies grow out of the newborn struggle with gas around the three month marker.  If your baby is struggling with this issue I encourage you to seek council.  This will sound crazy, but if you are breastfeeding, I encourage you to seek it from others than you pediatrician!  Ha!  Your pediatrician is an advocate for baby.  This is great until your diet is put under an impossible microscope.  I have worked with mommies who are told not to eat dairy, broccoli, chocolate, fresh vegetables, grains……………and on and on.  As a doula, I am an advocate for both mother and baby.  New mommies are dealing with sleep deprivation, recovering from labor and pregnancy, other postpartum issues, and general lack of confidence.  Their food intake has to include a healthy diet and lots of water.  When pediatricians micromanage mammas’ diet in order to alleviate gas in baby, new mommies are left with uninteresting impossible diets to endure.  There has to be a happy medium!!

If you believe your diet is causing problems be sure to write down what you eat.  This will give you an idea of what foods could be causing the problem.  Once you think you know the culprit, remove that one thing from your diet for three days.  If gas is eliminated for your baby you were right!!!  Stay off that food or food group for a couple weeks and reenter it later, with the hope that babies’ digestive tract has matured enough to handle it.  If the gas is not eliminated allow yourself the luxury of that food item and remove another for a few days to see if that one is the problem.  Keep a list of what works for you.

Unless there are major food allergies most foods will agree with you and baby.  Simply pay attention when problems arise.  I wish you healthy happy babies with no gas!!!

JUDY