As a long time doula I have had the first hand opportunity to experience innumerable events in the lives of new mommies and their babies. I am constantly humbled by this privilege. To participate in the welcoming of a new baby to it’s family is miraculous!! There are a million unknowns: What is babies’ personality? How will big sister react? How will breastfeeding progress? Will daddy be able to cope? Will our dog acclimate? And on and on.
Yes, all the possibilities create stress. So don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed!! I find in my life when I am thinking about all the possibilities of any decision I become worried. What works for me is to make a list and write down then pros & cons. Once my concerns are on paper they are far less threatening. Then I am able to gain perspective and understand them.
All the challenges of parenthood will not be included in your first few weeks with your new baby. So don’t worry about them. Take them one at a time. As they arrive. This will bring great relief. You have years to think about the future challenges, Don’t borrow trouble!! In other words, do not worry about a problem until you are in a place where you need to. Seek inner peace. Put off issues that do not matter now. There will be time to deal with them later on. Take your days as they come and enjoy them!!! Have fun!
Do not allow yourself to be unsettled because of the concerns of others. When someone brings up an issue that bothers them, listen carefully, show them respect, thank them, then go home and do what you think is best for your family. Others will have issues they are worried about that mean nothing to you. It is kind of you to listen to them. but you have no reason to act on these thoughts. Do not tell you friend or relative this is your plan, you do not want to offend them. However, you need to be true to what you and your spouse have decided. The world is overwhelmed with so many thoughts, ideas, actions. It can make you crazy trying to respond to them all. Actually, it is impossible to do so. Find peace in your heart and home. Protect your people by making life simple and easy. Home should be a sanctuary for each member of your family. A place where you all feel safe, protected and accepted.
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