So this Mother’s Day was your first as a mommy! Was it wonderful? The cards, flowers, maybe chocolate and well wishes make it clear that you are not in the same place you were last year. Having that precious bundle of joy brings you into an entirely new sisterhood. It can be a bit daunting. When someone says “Mom”, do you still think they are talking to your mother, or maybe your mother-in-law?
Motherhood is an identity changer. No longer are you moving around in the world as simply a girl/woman. Now you are responsible for someone else. It takes some getting used to! You will be referred to as So N So’s Mommy. How does that feel?
I remember how strange it was to be at a dinner party discussing disposable diapers!!! Was that really me? I usually like to hang out in the kitchen with the guys, they have more interesting topics of conversation. Yet, here our friends were discussing the benefits of disposable vs cloth diapers over spaghetti. Could we really be that old? Ha!
Luckily we were not alone in our earthshaking role changes. We had friends and relatives making the switch from child to parent simultaneously. There were many conversations opening with “What on earth have we done???” We all wanted to be parents. We had looked forward to this day since we were little girls holding baby dolls. Yet, somehow, now that the time had arrived, it was different than expected. Ah-ha!!! Expectations must have been the issue. As children we thought being a mommy or a daddy would feel differently. Anyway, as you make this enormous change be sure you are able to process it with friends and/or family. Find those you trust and be open with them about your fears and concerns. Maybe a Mommies Club or just a Mommies night out here and there. (The recent movies of said title do not rightfully describe what this time should actually be).
You are growing into a new stage of life. The key word is ‘growing’. There are a million parenting books out there. Parenting magazines exist. Groups discussing the issue are around. Figure out which best meets your current needs. I, for one, prefer the less formal avenue. My choice was to meet friends at the park or the beach and swap war stories. Ha! Ha! We would laugh and hoot at the lives we were living! Still not believing it was truly us! Over time we settled in and supported each other through the changes. As life continues more changes come. Together we welcomed them with open arms. Remember you are not alone. JUDY