Two Under the Age of Two!

“What?”, you say, “Who on earth would have two babies so close together???”  How does a family deal with two very little ones at the same time?  Where do they find the energy and resources to cope?

As a mom who had two boys in 15 months, with a mother-in-law who had three boys in 19 months (twins and my husband), and a daughter-in-law who had two darling girls in 13.5 months, we are living proof of success!!!!  Ha!  Ha!

I did not plan to have two babies in 15 months.  My first was 6 months old when my second was conceived.  Oops!  #1 was still sleeping often and was not yet mobile.  It worked out well for me.  I was able to rest.  My life already revolved around baby, so adding another was just more of the same.  There were comments from folks on their closeness in age, but by the time #2 was walking our motto was, “What would they do with out each other?”  It was fairly similar to having twins, with a short break! Our home was already set up we had all the baby gear and clothes.  The boys shared a room and were rarely apart.  They entertained each other!!!  It worked!!!

My mother-in-law talked about skiing with the twins in a wooden box…..when Mammoth was a rope tow and 1 chair lift!!!!  Are we dating ourselves?  The twins were her first delivery, so having her second, just one boy, was a piece of cake.  Like our family, they were all about the boys!!!

This week my darling daughter-in-law, Jenn, was in town with her 22 and 8 month old girls.  She flew from Alaska, just herself, the babies, and all their stuff.  Recouped with her folks, then did the eight hour drive from San Jose to Southern Cal. in one day!!!  Her sister calls her “Supermom”!  At dinner we watched her feed the eight month old and supervise the 20 month old as she somewhat fed herself.  Luckily Auntie Lens and I were there to help.  We spooned mac n cheese and ice cream into the almost two year old and chased her around the backyard.  I was remembering why God gives babies when you are young!!!  Ha!  Ha!  Felicity never sits down!!!!  She is as active a toddler as I remember!  We had sooooooooo much fun!!!

This is our family history.  Having babies close together works beautifully.  Do not panic if you find yourself pregnant earlier than expected.  It could work out to be absolutely the best!!!!  It certainly has for all of us!    If you need help give me a call!!  JUDY

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Postpartum Depression…… Learning what to look for

Until recently Postpartum Depression was not widely discussed.  It was thought of as tabu. Those struggling with issues after delivering their babies did not receive immediate diagnosis and services.   They often suffered alone with little understanding of what was happening to them

As research surfaces the understanding that the D word (depression) is much more common than previously thought has brought this discussion out of the shadows.  Nearly every new mother deals with postpartum depression on some level.  Experienced professionals and relatives should know what the warning signs can be.

First, how is mom coping?  There is so much change in ones life when a baby arrives. There have been nine months of physical, emotional, and mental transformation.  Then labor and delivery.  New parents have so much on their plates.  Change is overwhelming. They are experiencing it on every level.  No wonder they struggle!!

I hesitate to post symptoms due to the possibility of diagnosing ones self inaccurately.  All new moms are exhausted.  Everyone questions their ability to mother at some point.  Do not diagnose yourself.  Ask those who are supporting you to talk these over with you.  If there is agreement that there may be the need for outside help do not hesitate to get it. The majority of the symptoms below are perfectly normal in new families.  It is when there are excessive amounts of these issues that outside intervention is helpful.  If you are not sure whether or not you are having trouble coping talk to your mom or grandma, a sister who has children of her own, your doula or midwife, neighbors, your pastor, your OB/GYN.  They can help you find the appropriate services you need.   JUDY

What are the symptoms of postpartum depression?

Some of the more common symptoms new moms experience may include:

  • Feeling sad, hopeless, empty, or overwhelmed
  • Crying more often than usual or for no apparent reason
  • Worrying or feeling overly anxious
  • Feeling moody, irritable, or restless
  • Oversleeping, or being unable to sleep even when her baby is asleep
  • Having trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Experiencing anger or rage
  • Losing interest in activities that are usually enjoyable
  • Suffering from physical aches and pains, including frequent headaches, stomach problems, and muscle pain
  • Eating too little or too much
  • Withdrawing from or avoiding friends and family
  • Having trouble bonding or forming an emotional attachment with her baby
  • Persistently doubting her ability to care for her baby
  • Thinking about harming herself or her baby.

Resources:

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/postpartum-depression-facts/index.shtml